The tryst 

How does one define sweetness?

Meet Rocky, a.k.a. Rahul. A sweet young lad of 25, who knows himself and is so confident, he makes a 52-year-old woman feel like she doesn’t know the difference between chalk and cheese. And he does it with such charming grace that the woman feels as if she’s never even known life. 

It started with a meeting on a social networking site. He was always clear about his goal. He also knew his way – both, in terms of communication – where he knew exactly what to say and how to behave, as well as behaviour. His demeanour was pleasant, almost impeccably so. He oozed kindness, thoughtfulness and complete confidence. Oh! But I already said that. 

The old woman – who was more than twice his age, felt absolutely at sea in his presence. All her experience came to naught in the face of so much chutzpah, demonstrated with all modesty.

Was it just her body he desired, or her mind? Maybe a mix of both. But, losing his virginity to an older woman was definitely on his agenda. 

The weekend they met and spent together will always remain a bitter-sweet memory both both of them. He, because he saw an ugly facet of her he never knew existed. She, because she had deluded herself into believing that she had finally found her rock in Rocky. ..

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Feeling lost

And there are times when I feel lost. I want to tell you so many things. But most of all, I want to tell you that I miss you…a lot. 

I wish I had the courage and confidence to just tell you that – maybe send a one-line text message. 

But maybe you won’t see it till the end of your working day. And I’ll keep wondering if you have seen it. 

I’ll keep wondering if you’ve seen it but can’t react/respond because you are probably in a meeting.

I’ll keep wondering if you have seen it but don’t feel the same way, and feel (or don’t feel) embarrassed enough to not want to react…

I wonder..:

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Why?

He’s made promises. And broken them. Again. And yet again. 

What’s the guarantee he will not break it this time again?

When he calls (when he chooses to, that is) he sounds like a newspaper bulletin – telling me all about the people he interacted with, his Facebook posts and his friends’ responses, his whatsapp groups’ latest gossip doing the rounds…

It’s not strange that I have never met all these people he talks about. But I listen, I laugh when I’m expected to, I offer advice (he follows it but forgets to thank me for it later). I tell him about my day. He listens and then laughs for no reason. On query, he admits he was reading some funny post on FB. 

I swallow my pride. 

Why do I do it?

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Probably 

 probably
The world beyond has sinusoidal waves of celestial sounds for a harmonic experience
probably
The world beyond possesses unbridled sentiments that surpass delimiting horizons
probably
The world beyond has the demeanour and amplitude to serve and satiate the most insignificant of desires
probably
The world beyond has unmatched possibilities and infinite probabilities to deal with the superfluous
probably
The world beyond has just one human
My bashert, my doppelgänger, my alter ego.

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